Not Alone
by Jayne Leigh
Summary: Set at the beginning of s1. Sam and Josh have a late night chat about vacations, ex girlfriends and family. Please R&R


**Okay, I started this standalone years ago but had no idea where it was going. I decided to give it another go and it kind of wrote its self. I'm working on my other West Wing fics and will hopefully have a update for I'm Fine soon. Please review and let me know what you think! **

**Enjoy! **

**Not Alone**

"Have you ever been to Fiji?" Sam asked, as he handed Josh a beer before dropping down into one of the visitors' chair in Josh's office.

"Why would I go to Fiji?" Josh questioned, taking a mouthful of beer and swung his legs up to put his feet on to desk.

"Vacation?" Sam suggested but then rolled his eyes when he realized who he was talking to. "Oh, yeah I forgot..."

"Forgot what?"

"You do not do vacation."

"I don't need to do vacation..." Josh replied. "Vacation are for people who need a break from their lives...I love my life."

"You work 15 hours a day and when was the last time you had a date?"

"When was the last time you had a date?" Josh countered.

"This is my point." He sighed, leaning right back in the chair, so he was staring up at the ceiling. "Lisa and I were meant to be going on our honeymoon today."

"Ah," Josh replied, working out the reason for Sam's strange mood. "To Fiji?"

"It's one of the world's most romantic honeymoon spots."

"Did you cancel it?"

"No, she has gone..." He sat up but did not look at Josh. "She took a friend."

"I'm guessing from your tone that it was male friend?"

"A guy called Randel..." He muttered. "What kind of name is Randel? And what kind of woman takes another man on their honeymoon?"

"A woman you are better off without," Josh told him. "Besides, what do you care? You broke up a year ago..."

"You never did like, Lisa, did you?"

"No."

"Why?" Sam questioned, curiously. He always knew Josh did not like Lisa from the first time they had met.

"I don't know..." Josh shrugged. "She's...just...she's the type of woman to take another man of her honeymoon."

"Well, I wished you would have shared this information with me beforehand..." Sam told him. "I would have booked the honeymoon at Disney world."

Josh raised an eyebrow at him. "The happiest place in the world?"

"Josh, this is Lisa we're talking about...Sending her to the happiest place in the world would be like...sending Mandy to the happiest place in the world."

"Good point."

"And speaking of Mandy..."

"Don't go there."

"Hey, I had talked about my ex."

"You volunteered to talk about your ex."

"Okay, fine..." Sam held a hand up. "So..."

"So..."

"Are you and Mandy getting back together?" Sam could not resisted asking.

"What? No, god...No!"

"Okay, I had to asked because, the two of you..." Sam trailed off.

"I thought, you liked Mandy."

"Oh, I do...She's smart...and funny...she certainly knows how to handle you," Sam answered. "But...I'm kind of scared of her."

"Yeah, me too." Josh admitted, moving his legs off the desk and sitting up properly.

"And she didn't treat you very well..." Sam continued. "Besides, the two of you want different things."

"We do?" Josh questioned.

"Yeah, sure...I mean, she's all about her career."

"And I'm not?" Josh asked. "I'm the guy that never has a vacation, remember."

"That's now but in future, you will want to get married and have kids."

"I will?"

"Of course," Sam stated. "Once you've found the right woman...probably won't be while President Bartlet is still in office because you will want to focus on your career but I think after that, it will be the perfect time for you to settle down and have a family."

Josh stared at Sam for a few seconds, slightly amused about the fact his friend seemed to had put a lot thought into this. "And just where am I meant to meet this woman when I'm so busy with my job?"

Sam shrugged. "If she's the right woman, you won't need to meet her...she'll meet you."

Josh raised an eyebrow at that. "Okay..."

"I'm serious!"

"Come on, Sam...Can you really see me married with a couple of kids?"

"And a dog."

"A dog?"

"Your more of a dog person then a cat person," Sam replied. "And every family should have a pet."

"Right."

Sam looked at him for a few seconds. "You don't want kids?"

He sighed. "I don't know...I'm guess, I'm not that kind of person."

"Are you kidding?"

"What the hell do I know about kids?"

"They come with an instruction manual." Sam shrugged and Josh rolled his eyes. "Seriously, though...You're telling me this is all you want out of life?"

"I'm Deputy Chief of Staff to the President of the United States, that is quite impressive, Sam."

"Oh, I'm not doubting that but I would have thought you of all people would understand how important family is."

"How has this turned into some male bonding session?" Josh asked, feeling uncomfortable.

"Josh..."

"I just...I've..." He sighed and stood up. "I worked hard to get everything I have...going to Harvard and Yale... The campaign...This job is what I've wanted for so long, so right now it's all I'm thinking of."

"But you do want it one day, right?"

"It?"

"A family! A wife and kids...Grandchildren for your Mom...Everything we just talked about."

Josh stared at him for a moment before a smile spread across his face. "She got to you, didn't she."

"What?" Sam questioned, looking away.

"My Mother...You've been talking to her, haven't you?" Josh questioned. "Me settling down and having kids is the only thing she's been talking about since she came down for the Inauguration."

"She's worried, that is all."

"I told her not worry..." He rolled his eyes. "And you need to tell her that to when you next speak to her."

"She's just worried about you, Josh." Sam repeated, empathizing the 'you'. "It's just the two of you left and she's scared if something happened to her, then you would be alone."

"I'm a big boy, now...I can look after myself."

"Yeah but what with..." Sam started but then stopped.

"What with what?" Josh questioned but his friend stayed silent. "Sam?"

"She told me what today was."

"Ah."

"Yeah."

"It's not a big deal."

"Then why didn't you tell me?" Sam asked.

"Because it's not a big deal and I don't want people making a big deal out of it."

"Josh..."

"Drop it, Sam!"

"If it's not a big deal, why are you getting so worked up."

"Because I don't like my Mother going behind my back and talking to people about my business."

"I'm not people, Josh!" Sam insisted. "I'm meant to be you best friend."

Josh sighed and ran a hand down his face. "You are but I don't talk about things like this, Sam...You should know that by now."

"We don't have to talk but your Mother was worried you would be alone tonight and she did not want that."

"So, since I don't have a wife, she sent you?" Josh raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, maybe I should fought, Lisa for those plane tickets...We could be in Fiji, right now."

"Yeah, somehow I don't think Leo would have agreed with that."

"But how much fun would it have been to see C.J spin that one."

Josh smiled. "Be funnier if we were going Disney World."

Sam let out a laugh. "Listen, why don't we get out of here...Grab a beer."

"Sam..."

"We don't have to talk, I promise."

"I think I'll give it a miss...Thanks for the offer."

"What are you going to do all night?" He asked. "You normally go to Connecticut so you can be with your parents."

"Yeah..."

"I know it must be hard with your Dad not being there but surely that makes it more important for you and your Mom to be together?"

"It would mean her coming back from my Aunt's a week early and after the year, she has had, she deserves a break." Josh answered. "Besides, she prefers to grieve alone while Dad and I..."

Sam stayed silent for a few seconds, waiting for Josh to continue but he never.

"Josh?"

"Huh?" He snapped back attention. "What? Sorry?"

"While your Dad and you...?"

"Nothing, don't worry..." He waved his hand dismissing it and picked up a folder. "I really should get back to work if I want to go home sometime tonight."

"Josh..."

"Drop it, Sam."

Sam did not know what to do. Should he leave Josh alone or should he keep pushing him. Mrs. Lyman had asked him to look after her son but he did not know how.

"Okay, fine but I'll be in my office if you change your mind." Sam stood up.

"Thanks, Sam...I do appreciate it but..."

"You don't talk about it...I know." Sam gave him a small smile before leaving the office.

Josh sighed and leaned back in his chair. He should have known his Mother would do something thing like this. He was a little surprise she went to Sam and not Leo, though. The truth was, he almost forgot it. It was not until 11am when Donna gave him some papers to sign that he notice the date. His mood suddenly changed and after a hour of being unfocused and deep in thought, Donna was convinced he was sick. When she threatened to call the First Lady down to give him a check-up, he forced himself to snap out of it. He had to focus on this job because it was his life now.

Now that Sam had brought it up, he found himself thinking about it again. He could not believe that 32 years had past since he lost his sister. It felt like another life time but then there was times when he could still hear her and every time he remembered her death, he would get a pain in his chest and feel sick to his stomach; just like he did the night it happened.

Sighing, he a ran a hand over his face. After a few minutes of silence, he stood up suddenly and grabbed his coat and backpack on his way to the door. It was getting pretty late and it was a light week, so there was not many people left in the White House.

"We'd watched Mary Poppins."

Sam looked up from his computer, confused. "Excuse me?"

Josh moved fully into the room. "Dad and I...We would watch Mary Poppins."

"When you went home to Connecticut you would watch Mary Poppins?" Sam questioned.

"It was Joanie's favorite movie." He shrugged. "It seemed more appropriate then getting drunk."

"Well, yeah..."

"She used to know all the songs off by heart..." Josh smiled a little at the memory. "She used to try to get me to sing with her."

Sam just smiled and did not say anything because he was afraid, that if he did then Josh would stop talking .

"Anyway, that was what Dad and I did on the anniversary of her death... We would watch Mary Poppins...It was always a bit too much for Mom...She liked to act strong and did not want us to see how upset she got." Josh explained.

"Ah, so that is where you get it from."

"Listen, I'm finished for the day... Do you fancy getting that beer now?"

"Sure," Sam turned off his computer screen and stood up.

"Great." Josh smiled but then stopped him at the door. "Don't say anything to anyone about this..."

"Of course not." Sam assured him. "Lets go."

They were just crossing the lobby when Leo called out to them.

"You two finished for the day?"

"Yeah, we're going to get a drink...You wanna join us?"

"I can't, the President said something a chess game." Leo told them. "You're welcome to join us."

"Nah, I think we'll give that a miss." Josh laughed a little.

"Thought you'd say that...You doing okay?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Good, I only ask because today being..."

"My Mom has already sent Sam to look after him." Josh cut in. "But thank you for asking."

"She's just worried about you."

Josh rolled his eyes. "She got to you to?"

"Yeah and I don't think she's going to let up until you meet a nice girl and have some children." Leo added.

"Oh don't you start."

"Well, I better go...I cannot sit through another lecture on time keeping."

"Thanks, Leo."

"Wait, I almost forgot to give you this..." Leo handed him a bag. "I'll see you both tomorrow."

"What is it?" Sam asked, peering over his shoulder.

Josh pulled out a video to show him.

"Mary Poppins." Sam smiled. "How about we forget the beer and go to your place."

Josh stared down at it for a few seconds, deep in thought before nodding a little.

"Sounds good." He put it back in the bag. "But lets pick up that beer on the way."

"Because two guys spending the night watching Mary Poppins might start rumors?" Sam questioned as they headed for the exit.

"Yeah..."

"And you think drinking beer will make it more manly?"

"Sam?"

"Shut up?" He guessed.

"Yeah."

"Okay, but let me just say it could look worse? We could be in Fiji right now." He said said as they stepped outside.

"It would be worse if we went to Disney World."

"But it would been fun to see C.J trying to spin it." Sam grinned at him.

Josh laughed a little and shook his head. He may have lost both his sister and his father but there was no reason for his Mother to worry because he was not alone. He had a good friend in Sam and with Donna, C.J, Toby, Leo and the Bartlets, they had all become his second family. Tomorrow he would have to remember to phone his Mom and tell her not to worry and how much he loved her.

"And I like Mary Poppins..."

"Sam."

"Okay, okay...I'm shutting up."

**The end. **

**Please review and let me know what you think! **


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